Tips for parents when kids call school the b-word
1,550 words
by Michele Ranard

All of us can recall moments we felt bored beyond belief in school. Maybe it was when your long-winded fifth grade teacher read aloud with a monotone from the earth science textbook. Or during that math unit on measurement conversion – you know – convert sixty-seven thousand kilometers to inches (I actually enjoyed that unit, but I am a math tutor!)?

One of my tutoring students even prefers dental surgery to learning the rules to convert improper fractions to mixed numbers. Let’s face it. Not every topic or class lecture has students on the edge of their seats. Plugged-in millenials in this 24-hour streaming news age are sophisticated and spoiled for sexy Power Points and Smart Boards in the classroom. Has that left them lazier and more prone to boredom?

The Science of Boredom

Current research indicates the state of the brain during boredom actually looks more like a busy bee than a lazy bum. In a new study published in Applied Cognitive Psychology, Jackie Andrade, professor of psychology at the University of Plymouth, says when people are bored they actually have high levels of brain activity.

Andrade writes, "When you're bored, you think nothing much is going on, but actually your brain is looking for something to do." She says the brain is designed to constantly process information and when it encounters a lack of stimulation, there is a problem. Her experiments demonstrate that doodling actually helps in a state of boredom.

Apparently doodling diminishes the need for daydreaming and aids in concentration (you always knew penciling those little circles and triangles during boring phone calls and board meetings was helpful!). The ramifications for classroom doodling are intriguing. However, if your child’s complaints of boredom are frequent and her grades are slipping, the answer is likely more complex than idle scribbles.

The Teacher’s Perspective
Two experienced elementary school teachers shared their take on the b-word. Jane Klein believes one of the keys to keeping boredom at bay in her classroom is improving upon the quality of the student-teacher relationship. “The more I invest in a student – asking about outside interests, friendly conversations, and positive phone calls home – the more that student is willing to put energy into something that may not interest them or seem relevant.”

Teacher Laurel Bryan adds, “Boredom does not really describe the truth. It may be masking ‘lazy,’ or it may be masking ‘struggle.’ Either way, take off the mask and name it so you can deal with it!” Removing the mask may reveal a student’s lack of interest, trouble grasping class material, conflict with a teacher, or even too little challenge.

Unraveling Boredom

*Just bored or lack of interest? Disinterest is actually a tricky issue in a digital culture where some students crave constant external stimulation and shut down for topics they consider dull. Engaging lectures help, but with all the pressures piled high on teachers already, should we really expect them to add stand-up comedy to their repertoire, a la Jack Black in School of Rock?

Bryan believes kids should play a more active role in the partnership of learning. As she says, “Kids need to learn it is not the responsibility of everyone else to entertain them. They need to make the most of what they have, and this is a life skill.”

*Just bored or academic struggle? Sometimes boredom can mask hurt feelings. It is common for students to whine boredom when caught in a vicious cycle of disengagement, poor performance, and negative evaluation. When they fall behind, it may be easier to fake disinterest than claim defeat. If boredom masks an academic struggle for your child, tutoring may be helpful. In my practice, success stories are common where a student’s initial patterns of failure are transformed through steady hard work in tutoring.

*Just bored or a conflict with a teacher? Sometimes, poor “fit” with a particular teacher plays a role in reported boredom. My middle school son is hyper-sensitive to his teachers’ interpersonal evaluations. When he feels he has successfully earned the approval of a teacher he over-achieves and contributes one hundred percent to his studies. But when he feels misunderstood or slighted, he tends to squeak by or adopt a negative mindset.

Klein stresses the power of the student-teacher relationship and says of this dynamic, “If students know that I care about them and that I am on their side in the classroom, they are more apt and able to put forth effort and engage in the learning process.”

*Just bored or a lack of challenge? Tim Olson is a bright eighth grader, referred to me for math tutoring last summer after failing the subject. Within a few sessions it became clear that Tim’s whiny “math is lame” attitude masked a true lack of challenge in the classroom. I cannot tell you the surprise and delight of his parents upon hearing their son was a math whiz! Not only was his placement in basic math incorrect, but a personality clash with his teacher exacerbated the issue, setting the scene for rebellion and underachievement. Fortunately, one-on-one counseling and math tutoring renewed his joy for math, and he earns mostly A’s now.

What Parents Can Do

*Investigate whether boredom is masking something else. Pick a calm, quiet, peaceful time to explore the issue. Have your child show you the textbook, notes, and past exams for the subject to clarify whether they grasp the content of the material. Help them identify whether they feel lazy, hurt, disengaged, or defeated. This information will help you determine whether tutoring, a conference at school, or even a few phone calls to other parents might be in order.

*Don’t lose perspective. It’s not the end of the world. Do not lose heart or over-react before getting down to some detective work. Your child may be experiencing a rough patch, and most teachers and administrators want to partner with you to help. Sometimes our children are not the best assessors of their performance. You may even discover in a conference that your child is making satisfactory progress. It is important to share such feedback with your child and to celebrate any good news.

*Be honest with the teacher. Approach the matter as a friendly investigation, not an interrogation. Without an accusatory tone, express your concerns in a calm direct manner. Share any changes you have observed in your child’s attitude and behavior and any changes at home. Be sure to mention how important their education is to you. It is okay to ask whether there may be a personality clash or misunderstanding. Most teachers will appreciate your sensitivity and respect your intentions when you remain upbeat and pleasant.

Experienced teachers are often armed with effective strategies you may not have considered to motivate your student. One of schoolteacher Jane Klein’s secret weapons is offering choices. “If I can think of two or more choices that I can live with and present them to the student, they feel empowered by having the responsibility of choice, and I get what I want.” But be prepared to hear the truth from the teacher. Laurel Bryan indicates, “Some kids use ‘bored’ as an excuse to be lazy when they need to be empowered to do more.”

*Don’t forget to stay positive about what brings your child joy. Your developing student is likely engaged in a variety of activities he or she loves, from Brownies to piano lessons to soccer. Continue to actively support and encourage these interests which bring enjoyment and balance out those which bring challenge. Their passions will likely change as they mature, so be their cheerleader as they explore new territory and take risks.

*Find connections outside of the classroom. If your son cannot get revved up while studying the Revolutionary War, go beyond the textbook to expand his perspective. While it may lack some historical accuracy, depending on his age and maturity, your student could view “The Patriot” or a documentary on the subject. Does the “boring” topic have specialized vocabulary? Encourage your student to create vocab flashcards on bright neon index cards to make preparation for an exam more stimulating and pleasant. There are wonderful math help sites on the web (try http://www.aaamath.com/) if the sight of flashcards for math facts reduces them to tears. Visit museums and the library, and do not forget the power of your own enthusiasm and energy for a topic. Be a model of joyful learning.

Talk with them about personal responsibility in the learning process and the fact that learning new things is NEVER a waste of time. Bryan wisely recommends explaining that not every subject in school will be their favorite, “but it is their challenge to find the interesting hidden within that subject, be active participants in the process, and take ownership for their learning.”

*Keep your academic expectations in check. This is especially important if you are a perfectionist. Is it possible your child feels overly burdened for not bringing home “A” work despite concerted effort? Make sure your comments and actions are not sending the message that anything less than perfect is fail. You should expect your child to work hard and strive for high marks, but we all have weak areas. Stay positive, sharing experiences from your own life which demonstrate how through perseverance you found success.

Michele Ranard is is an academic tutor, professional counselor, and a freelance writer with a blog at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com.

Resources:

Andrade, Jackie. “What Does Doodling Do?”. Applied Cognitive Psychology (Feb 27 2009). http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122205124/abstract