Cut Yourself Some Slack and Celebrate Small Triumphs.
by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.600 words
As a parent, there are too many nights my head hits the pillow and my thoughts immediately turn to every misstep I took during the day with my kids. Even if dozens of things were handled expertly, my natural perfectionist inclination is to dwell on the times I blew it. Maybe you can relate.
It’s not healthy so I have to learn to consciously celebrate the small stuff. What went well? What slippery slopes were avoided or navigated with courage? We all need reminders to be more intentional, and sometimes it helps to have a twisted sense of humor about the whole business.
Take these 10 silly scenarios:
1. BROWN-BAG BRAVO...Did you successfully pack your 9-year-old’s lunch for the field trip without tossing in a can of Bud-Light (which looks eerily similar to a can of apple juice when one is bleary-eyed in the wee hours)?
AWESOME. You just prevented your child from being scarred for life and avoided a messy Family Services investigation.
2. DINNER WINNER...Was some version of “these are the best brownies in the universe” spoken after dinner rather than “I need a straw for this meatloaf?”
WAY TO GO. You actually cooked dinner. It is a big deal.
3. VODKA VICTORY...When your 16 year-old brought home the $350 speeding ticket, did you refrain from a roundhouse kick and binge drinking?
FABULOUS. Your child’s mistake may very well turn out to be an important life lesson.
4. TISSUE TRIUMPH...Did your tween announce SOMEONE NEEDS TO PUT MORE TOILET PAPER ON THE ROLL after which you calmly and without sarcasm suggested that “someone” might be him?
YOU’RE ON A ROLL YOURSELF! It’s hard not to automatically respond defensively with anger. Take credit for resisting.
5. SMART SNOOZE...Did you sneak in a nap today while your infant napped?
WOO HOO. Taking good care of yourself is beneficial to your whole family, and the dust bunnies can wait.
6. HEALTHY HOPE...Did you refuse to allow anxiety to overtake you when your first-grader’s teacher called and is convinced your child has deep pathological issues because she cannot master phonics?
YES, YOU CAN CELEBRATE THIS. A struggle to grasp phonics is not the end of the world. You were able to see the big picture. What your child needs is an emotionally healthy advocate like you who won’t be paralyzed by fear.
7. TEXT TRIUMPH...Did the text you sent to your spouse tonight read “oops we r outta diapers” and not “oops the firstborn needs bail?”
YAY. Now sleep in heavenly peace.
8. RAZOR REWARD...If you’re a mom, did you actually find adequate time to shave BOTH legs in the shower?
WELL, HALLELUJAH. I’m thinkin’ Arby’s!
9. MASTERPIECE MAMA...Was the portrait of you created by your preschooler charming and without obvious horns or a pitchfork?
SEE, IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS. You are pretty darn special, and they know it.
10. ORTHODONTIC OMG...Did you miraculously retrieve your daughter’s expensive retainer accidentally thrown away in the trash bin already rolled to the curb before it was landfill bound?
CUE THE CONFETTI. Way to keep hope alive and save the day.
Granted, these are tongue in cheek, but it’s honestly important to stay positive and realistic about the task of raising a family. It’s not easy. Society is full of messages telling us and our kids we're inadequate. We don’t have to lower the bar to acknowledge the fact that many many small victories—ones we often overlook—can truly transform our attitudes and outlooks in a big way.
Michele Ranard hardly ever packs a Bud Light in her child’s lunch. She has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling. Visit her at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com.
