6 Smart Responses to “I’m Bored”
by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
860 wds
Ever spent an exhausting day at a theme park with your kids and arrived home to hear someone whine “I’M BORED?" Maybe they use the b-word whenever the topic of school comes up.
I feel your pain. Here’s what you need to know about boredom.
Behind the Boredom
Current research indicates the state of the brain during boredom actually looks more like a busy bee than a lazy bum. In a recent study in Applied Cognitive Psychology (2009) psychologist Jackie Andrade says when people are bored they actually have high levels of brain activity. "When you're bored, you think nothing much is going on, but actually your brain is looking for something to do" writes Andrade. She says the brain is designed to constantly process information and when it encounters a lack of stimulation, there is a problem. Ah! This explains the post-amusement park whine fest, does it not?
Boredom Buster #1:
Doodle! Her experiments demonstrate that doodling actually helps in a state of boredom. Doodling diminishes the need for daydreaming and aids in concentration (you always knew penciling little circles and triangles during boring phone calls and board meetings was helpful!). The ramifications for classroom doodling are intriguing. However, if your child’s complaints of boredom are frequent and his grades are slipping, the answer is likely more complex than idle scribbles.
The Art of Entertaining (Themselves) at Home
Parenting expert and author of Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries (2009) Michele Borba blames overstimulation, micromanagement, and scheduling for why kids struggle to enjoy their own company and entertain themselves. Borba is keen on introducing kids to choices, taking baby steps, and weaning them from supervision.
Boredom Buster #2:
Teach Solitary Unplugged Play. Specific activities (puzzles, solitaire) depend on the child’s age. Borba says “First show how to do the game together. Next watch and guide to ensure he knows the rules. Finally, wean him from you being there.” Is there any solo activity better than a good book? Stock up at the library and encourage reading. Help your child choose a hobby that is the right match whether that’s playing guitar, knitting, drawing, photography, or cooking. Borba reminds parents that “Hobbies not only nurture a child’s talent, but also become a wonderful relaxer and can last a lifetime!”
Boredom Buster #3:
Breathe Fresh Air. Send them outside! Beat boredom while at the same time optimizing social, emotional, cognitive, and physical development. Some kids need to be nudged out the door. Have a container with balls, marbles, jacks, hoola hoops, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, pails, and shovels accessible. My own kids entertained themselves outside for hours with a simple mini basketball hoop and a foam ball. Even a simple spoon works to dig in the dirt—but many kids need to be reminded! Borba recommends boxes—glorious cardboard boxes—to provide hours of fort building play.
Boredom at School
If your child tells you he is bored in class, it’s important to discuss how school work is WORK and not meant to be entertaining. That said, sometimes boredom masks a completely different issue such as disinterest, academic struggle, lack of challenge, or conflict with a teacher. In turn, these obstacles to learning may trigger underachievement, low grades, or a diminished self-image. As a professional tutor, I have learned that when students complain of boredom, it’s often necessary to dig deeper.
Boredom Buster #4:
Explore Whether Boredom is Masking Disinterest or Fear. It is important for kids to play an active role in the partnership of learning so discuss the difference between boredom and lack of interest. Boredom can mask feelings of failure. When a child falls behind, it may be easier to fake disengagement than claim defeat. If demands at school weigh on him, offer encouragement and work with teachers and tutors.
What Teachers Say About Boredom
Be prepared to hear the truth from teachers. Teacher Laurel Bryan indicates, “Some kids use ‘bored’ as an excuse to be lazy when they need to be empowered to do more.” Bryan wisely recommends explaining that not every subject in school will be their favorite, “But it is their personal challenge to find the interesting hidden within that subject, be active participants in the process, and take ownership for their learning.”
Boredom Buster #5:
Present Choices. One of schoolteacher Jane Klein’s secret weapons is to offer choices. “If I can think of two or more choices that I can live with and present them to the student, they feel empowered by having the responsibility of choice, and I get what I want.”
Fear Not Boredom!
Other experts recommend parents relax and not be fearful of their kids’ boredom. Authors of I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy! (2008) Aaron Cooper and Eric Keitel say one of the mistakes parents often make is assuming boredom for children is the enemy and is a symptom of unhappiness.
Boredom Buster #6:
“Don’t be afraid of boredom. Don’t think you have to remedy your kids’ moments with a buffet of activity choices. ‘I’m bored’ often serves as the prelude to the exercise of imagination and creativity, an opportunity for play.”
Michele Ranard is a private tutor who understands bored kids. She has a husband, two sons, and a master’s in counseling. Visit her at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com.
Resources:
Andrade, Jackie. “What Does Doodling Do?” Applied Cognitive Psychology (Feb 27 2009). http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/122205124/abstract
Borba, Michele. The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. Jossey-Bass, 2009.
Cooper, Aaron and Eric Keitel. I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy! Why You Shouldn’t Say it, Why You Shouldn’t Think it, What You Should Embrace Instead. Late August Press, 2008.
