by M. Ranard
370 words
It’s the little things, as they say. Those assorted small victories—triumphs even—that only fellow moms can truly appreciate and equate with baked goods. I’ve come up with a list of personal favorites that are decidedly one-off, and sure, a bit twisted but always keepin’ it real. And if you can claim these mom victories, then it’s only fitting you get your just desserts. I mean props. Okay, desserts AND props! Deal?
The point of composing a list of triumphs for moms is (a) because many awesome mommy coups somehow get overlooked and (b) to supply you with a chuckle because life can be hard. If like me you occasionally experience seasons of feeling discouraged or a lack of gratitude, perhaps your brain needs tickling. Maybe you need a nudge to recover laughter again. These TRIUMPHS may be just the ticket:
1. You dragged yourself to the market to buy half and half for the kids’ french toast as opposed to lazily substituting that frozen breast milk.
2. You got through the entire day without being barfed on once.
3. Even though it was a temptation, you did NOT ask the delivery man to “please please just keep an eye on my baby in the exersaucer for 4 minutes while I shower.”
4. You remembered to empty your teen’s pockets of an iPhone and his 4th school I.D. before throwing in a load of laundry.
5. After helping your 5th grader prepare for the physical science exam, no one required traction or reconstructive surgery.
6. Everyone under the roof has clean underwear for tomorrow.
7. One of your kids commented “Your eyes don’t have that scary bugged out look like yesterday, mommy.”
8. You did not accidentally impale yourself on a transformer carelessly left near that puddle of urine you slipped on entering the loo.
9. Appearing relaxed and put together at storyhour at the library, no one complimented you on the "adorable grandchild."
10. When your 7th grader brought home his midterm grades, you didn’t respond with “we’re going to have to let you go.”
11. Your facebook status sounds nothing like Charlie Sheen’s.
12. Your slice of chocolate cake and last diet soda remained hidden the entire day.
M. Ranard has three backup stashes of Peanut Butter M&Ms, a husband, two sons, and a master’s in counseling. Visit her at hellolovelychild.com and hellolovelyinc.blogspot.com.
