Parlez Vous Teen?
Decoding Millennial Slangby Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
615 words
Going Screensaver: When you notice a
coworker spacing out or dozing off in a meeting.
“Check it out, look at Joe. He’s going
screensaver.”
Rosetta-stoned: One who gets so high, he or she begins
to speak in a foreign language.
Phone-yawn: The act of taking out a cell phone from one's pocket
or purse, resulting in other people in the vicinity taking out and checking
their phones as well.
Ballin: The term has been thrown around our house (pun intended) for
years so I am sort of a ‘ballin’ connoisseur. It means to be living the high
life, to be well respected, to be wealthy or to be a basketball player. “That dude is ballin.”
Tranq: 1. A sedative, or the act of sedating.
2. Any chemical substance used for calming a human or animal through injection
or ingestion.
n.
"The TRANQs are kept in the
emergency medical locker by the gauze."
v. "The bear was TRANQed so that
officials could safely transport it back into the wild."
v. "You need to TRANQ out, man, it isn't the end of the world."
v. "You need to TRANQ out, man, it isn't the end of the world."
Totes: Short for totally.
Facebook Ammo: A humiliating or incriminating photo
saved on a friend’s camera to be potentially posted on Facebook for blackmail
purposes.
Generation TMI (Too Much Information): While not slang, it is a concept parents of teens likely
understand but may need a term for. Urbandictionary.com defines it roughly as
kids overloaded with too much information because of the rapid growth of
technology and the incessant need people have to share information online.
Text Anxiety: The worry after texting someone when
they don’t text right back. Are they alive? Mad? What could possibly be taking
so long?
Text Away Your Dignity: Familiar with drunk
dialing? It’s the equivalent with texting.
Throw Down: (NOTE: Pay close attention to this
one—throw down or throwdown means a million different things depending on context!)
#1: To
contribute money to pay for something.
Colton: “Dude, I’m gonna make a McDonald’s run, want
some?”Jake: “Sure, dude, I’ll throw down.”
#2: To mosh or slam dance.
“He totally threw down in the pit.”#3: To street fight, like “throwing down the gauntlet.”
#4: To throw a large party.
(WARNING: it may not be ‘dancing’ they’re planning to do this weekend if you
hear your kid mention throwdown on the phone.)
#5: To drink excessively;
see warning in #4.
Tiger’s Wife Mad: Or TW Mad. So angry
that you find the item which the object of your anger cherishes the most and
proceed to beat him/her with it.
“Did you see that dude
ask for the manager at Taco Bell? He was Tiger’s wife mad with the burrito!”
By the way, do not under any
circumstances try out these expressions on your teens! Trust. They could easily
become TW mad and reach for…whatever. Use this knowledge solely to decode,
sympathize, and delude yourself into feeling cool. (If you parent a teen, you
already know a delusion is the closest you’ll come.)
Because Michele Ranard is paranoid, she still worries ‘tossed a
fork’ is secret code. She is an epic sick blogger at http://hellolovelyinc.blogspot.com
and http://hellolovelychild.blogspot.com.
Sources: The Urban
Dictionary (www.urbandictionary.com) and sons
