hello lovely child

You can definitely get published! Try regional markets or parenting pubs before you pitch that million dollar screenplay.

A cool editor asked me these questions.

1. Why approach a parenting publication?  I HAVE A HEART FOR CHILDREN AND A PASSION FOR HELPING FAMILIES AND WANT TO BRING QUALITY CONTENT TO THIS MARKET. IF I'M BRUTALLY HONEST, I HAVE TO ADMIT A WEAKNESS FOR MAGAZINES! I'VE ALWAYS ALWAYS LOVED THEM AND WANTED TO LIVE INSIDE THEM.

2. What type of writing experience did you have? ACADEMIC RESEARCH PAPERS, PROFESSIONAL CORRESPONDENCE, AND SPEECHES.

3. What did you wish you knew when you started writing for parenting publications? IF YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT THE TOPIC AND A DECENT WRITER, THIS IS HALF THE BATTLE. EDITORS WANT TO ACCEPT WELL THOUGHT OUT AND CLEAN SUBMISSIONS. THERE ARE ONLY A FEW SADISTS WHO WILL SAY YOU SHOULD JUST STICK TO BLOGGING.

4. What was hard to learn/accomplish/know when you first started writing for parenting publications? I AM ONE OF THOSE RENEGADE WRITERS SO NOTHING WAS HARD. WITHOUT A RULE BOOK OR JOURNALISM BACKGROUND OR MUCH EGO AT ALL (NO WRITING CLASS OR SEMINAR!) THERE WAS FREEDOM FROM 'HOW WE DO THINGS HERE.' I'M AS SHOCKED AS ANYONE BY MY SUCCESS.

5. Did you look for or ask for writer's guidelines? INITIALLY I DID BUT ONLY A FEW WERE OFFERED. THE PAY IS SO LOW FOR THE PIECES I WRITE THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE GOOD FINANCIAL SENSE TO TAKE THE TIME TO READ GUIDELINES, CHANGE FORMATS...I THINK GUIDELINES TURN MOST GOOD WRITERS OFF UNLESS THEY HAVE TONS OF FREE TIME ON THEIR HANDS.

6. What information could we provide to help you? IF QUALITY, THOUGHT PROVOKING CONTENT IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL THEN A STYLE GUIDE IS NOT WHAT WILL ATTRACT STRONG WRITING. IT'S FREEDOM AND CREATIVITY WHICH FUEL MY PROCESS. FOR HO HUM CHEAP UNIMAGINATIVE FILLER, LOTS OF FORMULA ORGANIZATION MAY BE KEY. BUT READERS ARE BUSY AND DON'T HAVE A GREAT ATTENTION SPAN AND WILL SKIP OR SKIM REGARDLESS OF STRUCTURE...UNLESS...WE MAKE THEM CARE WITH STRONG EVOCATIVE WRITING.

7. What other publications/organizations do you regularly write for? ABOUT 60 PARENTING PUBLICATIONS, ADVERTORIAL, GHOSTBLOGGING, AND PRESS.

8. What tips could you share that have helped you work with those publications/organizations? RESPECT AN EDITOR'S TIME. IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR IDEA OR SUBMISSION, EXPRESS THAT PASSION AND BACK IT UP IN A FEW SENTENCES, NOT PAGES. READ YOUR PIECE OUT LOUD FOR FLOW AND CLEAN IT UP BEFORE CLICKING 'SEND.' DON'T BOTHER ANY PUBLICATION WITH MEDIOCRITY OR A SLIGHTLY TWEAKED RECYCLE. BE CLEVER. BE GREAT. BE KIND. GIVE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, AND YOU WILL DEVELOP AN ATTRACTIVE REPUTATION AS A FREELANCER AND SEE MORE PIECES ACCEPTED.

9. What do you like about writing for a parenting publication? EVEN IF IT'S NAIVE, I BELIEVE THERE IS HONOR IN SHARING WHAT I KNOW, RAISING AWARENESS. EDUCATING, AND ENTERTAINING PARENTS (WHO HAVE THE TOUGHEST JOB ON EARTH AND DESERVE THOUGHTFUL WRITING).

10. What do you not like about writing for a parenting publication? IF I THINK TOO HARD ABOUT THE MONEY I EARN PER HOUR WRITING PARENTING STUFF AS OPPOSED TO OTHER STUFF, IT DEPRESSES THE HECK OUT OF ME. WHY ISN'T THE EFFORT AND THOUGHT MORE VALUABLE IN THE MARKETPLACE? AT TIMES I BECOME PARANOID THAT I'M INVISIBLE AND NO ONE READS THE ARTICLES. ALSO IN LAPSES OF SUPERFICIALITY, IT'S TOUGH TO IMPRESS ANYONE AT A DINNER PARTY. PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR 'TIME' OR 'NEW YORKER' WHEN THEY ASK WHO YOU WRITE FOR. SO I HAVE TO PUT EXTRA EFFORT INTO HOW MY HAIR IS STYLED BEFORE THOSE GATHERINGS.

11. Main profession/occupation? CREATIVE WRITER.

Just notice.

Sage advice dating back to my counselor training days. Just notice doesn't sound heavy. But it is.

What is REALLY being said in the conversation? What is left out? Why is your stomach upset when you do that? Why is your energy zapped around her? Did you see the way the robin just chased the butterfly around that Maple?


Just notice then chew on it. Develop it and discover what it means. Don't expect readers to jump up and down about your awareness. Unless. You can make them care by writing something honest and writing it well.

Whenever a paycheck with my name on it arrives in the mail, I wave it in the faces of my sons, who are now 14 and 18. Sometimes I smack the 14-year-old J. over the head with the envelope because of all the members of the family, he is the most unsupportive of my freelance writing career. He is famous for asking me, "Oh, is it another imaginary check?"

It seems J. cannot fathom that what I do—staring at an LCD screen, guzzling Diet Coke whilst tapping into creativity, and scribbling down dialogue wherever I am—is in fact, a real job.

J. (walking by my office): You’re ALWAYS on Facebook.
Me: I’m not on Facebook, babe. I’m researching a topic for an article.
J.: Oh. You mean you’re doing work for that imaginary job for one of your imaginary articles for your imaginary magazines?
Me: It’s not imaginary. Just because I work on a computer from home doesn’t mean what I do is not real.
J.: Suuuuurrre, it’s real. Except it’s imaginary…(leaves quickly).

My sons and husband tell me when I’m in work mode at my laptop, a ridiculous dramatic expression appears on my face. This mode has in fact inspired a stand-up comedy act the 18-year-old L. performed recently (I bet he'll encore the performance for you in exchange for Taco Bell--but whatever you do, don't call it Taco Bell! My kids are too cool for Taco Bell! It's T. Bell! Trust me!).

His stand-up and my response go something like this:

L. (taking drag of imaginary cigarette, delivered with a kickass Deniro) I AM A WRITER. JUST LOOK AT ME...GLANCE AROUND THE ROOM AT MY LEATHER BOUND LITERATURE COLLECTION. LOOK AT THIS COMPUTER. LOOK AT MY SCOTCH (swigs imaginary scotch from imaginary highball glass).
Me (annoyed): Why? Why? Why? Why does it bother you boys so much that I sit and think and type for my job?
L.: Because it’s imaginary.

I am a petite blonde writer of parenting articles, humor essays, and other nonfiction. I have no idea why that makes me Deniro. I just know I don't deserve this crap from kids who should be cheering me on. I highly doubt Bobbie would take it. And it's gin, not scotch.


Michele has a husband, two children, a master's in counseling, and a blog at hellolovelychild.com.

Few things bring more joy (when you're me) than refreshingly clean crisp rooms.

Getting high on Windex is in my nature. I grew up with neatnick parents who did all the housework while I dreamed, read, or played an instrument.

I got lucky and got someone to marry me who speaks the same language of Lysol which is to say when a space has been polished to near perfection, he smells nurturance, love and sensuality rather than disturbance. He's also not afraid to get his hands dirty and to clean like a mofo. (I'm sure there's a more apt description but 'clean like a bandit' is tragically mild and just not him.)

Our teen sons have yet to embrace their true nature or inner sparklemaker which is to say slobby demons still possess them and call the shots. The column 'Holy Teen Slackers' I wrote for ParentWise this month rants about it. I'm fairly sure Jesus is okay with me confessing to Texans how it helps to think Mary may have sighed 'Oy vey! Having a teen slacker moment...'

Since writing the piece, the slobbier of the teens moved away to college. We miss him and his beautiful soul but not the piles. It's frightening for us to imagine what microbes now lurk beneath the dorm room piles.