hello lovely child

LESS FEARFUL HOSPITAL STAYS

3 Tips to Ease Anxiety

by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.

560 wds

If your child will be visiting the hospital for a procedure, they may feel fretful about what to expect and any pain they may experience. These expert tips will help guide you in calming their nerves.

Why They Worry About the Hospital

According to Dr. Judith A. Jones of Kidshealth.org, common fears are needles and pain. Depending upon the procedure, Dr. Jones suggests it may be possible for your child to get medicine to feel more relaxed.

Young children often struggle with separation anxiety and will likely feel more at ease if they are held by their parents while falling asleep before surgery. Older children may develop anxiety for “exposure of body parts during surgery, cutting and scarring of the body, waking up during surgery, loss of control, pain after surgery, and even death.”

3 Tips to Ease Worry

Many children will benefit from a calm conversation before their hospital stay about what to expect. Kidshealth.org suggests the following tips for such a talk with your child:

Be calm for your child. If you stay relaxed (breathe!), your child is less likely to feel nervous about the hospital. “If you need to vent your emotions, try to take a few minutes to step out of the room where your child can't see or hear you.”

The experts at kidshealth.org remind parents that keeping their own anxiety in check will ease a child’s pre-op worries and positively influence their post-op recovery. As Dr. Jones suggests, “Remember to use nonverbal cues to communicate assurance: your tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, and body language convey powerful messages.”

Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling.

Resources:

Kidshealth.org

http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/surgery/anesthesia_prepare.html#

reviewer: Judith A. Jones, M.D.

BUST A MOOD

3 Strategies to Calm Beastly Moods

by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.                                                                            

760 words

”Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.”

                                                                        --Bill Watterson

We all have moods. In childhood, there are those unicorn, rainbow, cotton candy, smiley ones, there are the beastly ones. Meltdown mahem at Macy’s. Bedtime blow-ups. Tantrums over tuna. Adolescents are also famous for occasionally getting their panties in a bunch...ahem.

Behind every spirited child in distress is a parent secretly wishing to be sedated.

Okay, the last part may just be me, but sometimes the moods of our children shift so swiftly and fiercely from cheer to rage, we’re left dazed and confused.  Kids don’t grow out of bad moods like they do shoes.

So let’s explore some common ‘very bad mood’ triggers and tips for how to avoid them.

Why Terrible Horrible Moods Happen to Good Children

*Changes in routine. All parents get this intellectually, yet still we are caught off guard when our kids react to change with distress. “But you said we’d get ice cream right after school!” (Can you feel the power of those words like nails on a chalkboard?) WE think they must learn to go with the flow. THEY want predictable outcomes.

*Overstimulation. Too much of a good thing can be lovely…and it can be bad. Real bad. Noise, interference, and stimulation in a child’s surroundings can cause increased irritability. And unfortunately, children often don’t realize it’s the ENVIRONMENT making them edgy and grumpy.

*Exhaustion. Hello? Sleep deprivation makes children of all ages emotionally weird and less resilient. Teens especially must get enough shut eye!

*Tummies growlin’. The tricky part about cranky hungry kids? They can be extremely resistant to acknowledging their hunger. You have to do the thinking and be armed with snacks especially when away from home.

*Growing pains. Yep. Blame it on hormones. Physical and neurological growth can cause children to be moody. Let’s keep reminding each other about this one, deal?

*Injustice. “Hey! Sophie got a bigger slice!” Even if Sophie didn’t get the sizeable helping, perceiving she did can trigger a nasty mood.

Bust a Mood

Sharing a book is one way to connect with kids in a discussion of moods. Remember little Alexander from Alexander and the Horrible Very Bad Day? Poor guy can’t even get away from his bad day when he settles down for the night. He bites his tongue, and the cat deserts him! But there is someone there to bust his mood. Fortunately he has a parent who reassures that everyone has bad days.

Another title combining a silly sense of humor with grouchy feelings is Big Rabbit’s Bad Mood by Ramona Badescu. Laughter is good medicine for monstrous bad moods.

Authors of Mother Nurture (2002), Rick and Jan Hanson, have excellent tips for easing sour moods.

One-on-one attention. Make sure your moody child is getting plenty of nurturance in the form of quality attention for at least 20 minutes daily (ideally, more time than that).

Soak up the sunshine. Children need to build up a positive emotional memory so they can access those happy places when life isn’t going smoothly. Dr. Hanson suggests spending a few minutes at bedtime reviewing all the things that make her feel good and reminding her to savor those things.

Watch out for stress. Some moody kids have a hard time coping with stressors such as long days of childcare, overscheduling, and too-high expectations. While we can’t eliminate stress for kids, be a good model of coping. Reassure them they don’t need to worry and teach strategies to calm themselves.

Seek out objectivity. Frequently it helps to ask a teacher, family friend or counselor for an opinion about your child’s moods—is there a bully at school? Is it possible you are missing something?

Assess their diet. Think about whether your child is eating enough protein or too much sugar. Make sure she is offered nutritious meals, consider vitamins, and watch for symptoms of food allergies.

Take care of yourself. Don’t forget about your own needs for nurturance. Moody kids can add up to lots of stress into the home, so take good care of your relationships and your own emotional well-being.

Bad moods hate a restful slumber. Are you getting enough rest to cope with these moody children? You need your energy and stamina for these terrible, no good days! See a connection between sleepovers and your child’s bad mood? Do everything in your power to promote better sleep habits for you and your family.

Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling

Resources:

Badescu, Ramona. Big Rabbit’s Bad Mood. Chronicle, 2009.

Rick Hanson, Jan Hanson, and Ricki Pollycover. Mother Nurture: A Mother’s Guide to Health in Body, Mind, and Intimate Relationships. Penguin, 2002.

Viorst, Judith. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. ALA, 1972.

STRESS and PRESCHOOLERS

800 wds

As adults with plenty of experience managing stress, we cope with it by learning to calm ourselves. Sometimes we forget that children lack our years of experience and maturity. Anyone who has ever visited a preschool classroom can attest that plenty of three to six-year-olds have yet to learn or practice such coping skills. Understanding some of the underlying structures of stress may help us better guide them.

Measuring Stress

Stress and cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone produced by the outer portion of the adrenal gland in response to stress. It aids in digestion, the immune system, and energy usage. When we face challenges, cortisol levels spike and provide us with energy. Since it can suppress immunity when stress is chronic, stable levels are associated with good health. In fact, recent research suggests a relationship between cortisol levels and suicide risk (Nauwert 2010).

The researchers suggest that paying attention to a preschooler’s stress signals (crying after separation, exhaustion after day care, trouble sleeping, or frequent illness) and reacting with support helps.

 Stressors for Pres-choolers What is stressing them? Interaction, for one thing. Watamura discovered that even more than separation anxiety, interaction with peers contributed to stress. Levels of cortisol often increased as they attempted to play with lots of other kids.

“At home, preschool-age children typically show a decreasing pattern of cortisol production across the day,” Watamura says. “At child care, many children show a rising pattern,” probably since they are more challenged there.

Family members also affect stress levels. A 2009 study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry reported almost 15 percent of preschoolers have atypically high levels of depression and anxiety. This five-year exploration of Sylvana M. Cote and international researchers in Canada and France found that children with atypical levels were more likely to have mothers with a history of depression.

“We found that lifetime maternal depression was the second most important predictor of atypically high depressive and anxiety problems during preschool years,” says Dr. Cote. The researchers stress preventive interventions are needed to see a long-term impact on the well-being of kids at risk.

Combatting Stress With Nurturance

Nurturance matters. The amount of nurturing rat pups receive from their mothers (licking and grooming in infancy) has lasting effects on the stress response over the life cycle. Laurie Miller Brotman and researchers at the NYU School of Medicine found in studies of parenting and children’s stress response that in fact, there is a cause-effect relationship (2007).

 They aimed to measure whether intervention for preschoolers at risk for antisocial behavior could alter the kids’ biological response to a stressful social situation (playing with a group of unfamiliar peers). After the intervention, cortisol levels of preschoolers who were taught coping skills were found to be lower than for those without instruction.

Brotman says results “provide further evidence that early intervention can have a profound effect on children.”

Nurturance may change the brain’s anatomy. Recent research, by child psychiatrists and neuroscientists at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, is the first to show that changes in the hippocampal region (a brain region strongly associated with memory and linked to the capacity to manage stress) of children’s brain anatomy are linked to a mother’s nurturing.

 The researchers discovered that preschoolers whose mothers actively supported them during a stressful incident showed greater volume in the hippocampus! This finding supports a growing body of research suggesting what we suspected: nurturing kids early in live is critical to healthy development.
Tips to Help Stressed Out Preschoolers

*Provide assurance. If the stressor for your child is at home, Watamura says talk to your child about how you will be able to figure it out and that there’s no need for worry.

 *Assess the connection. If your stressed child goes to day care or preschool, investigate to make sure your child’s teacher is bonding with her. Science shows that cortisol levels are more stable when there is a secure attachment.

 *Ask around. Watamura suggests asking your care provider: “Does my child play well when she wants to play? How does she do when I leave? When are the roughest times of day?”

*Choices. Give your child appropriate ones. For example, let her pick a friend for a playdate.

 *Offer a heads up. To prevent a meltdown, make sure she knows what to expect—she’ll be better able to adjust to circumstances which could trigger stress.

 *Remember all families struggle with stress. Watamura reminds that “Like adults, kids don’t always have to be happy” so you shouldn’t automatically try to “fix” things.

Michele Ranard has two children, a husband, and a master’s in counseling.

 Resources:

Brotman, Laurie Miller, Ph.D. Effects of a Psychosocial Family-Based Preventive Intervention on Cortisol Response to a Social Challenge in Preschoolers at High Risk for Antisocial Behavior. Archives of General Psychiatry. Oct 2007.

Cote, Sylvana M. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. Feb 2009.

Luby JL, Barch DM, Belden A, Gaffrey MS, Tillman R, Babb C, Nishino T, Suzuki H, Botteron KN. Maternal support in early childhood predicts larger hippocampal volumes at school age. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Early Edition, Jan. 30, 2012. www.pnas.org/cgi/doi/10.1073/pnas.1118003109

Nauwert, Rick. Brain Inflammation Linked to Suicidal Tendencies. Psychcentral. http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/12/01/brain-inflammation-linked-to-suicidal-tendencies/21371.html. Dec 2010.

Watamura, Sarah, Ph.D. University of Denver. http://www.du.edu/psychology/child_health_and_development/