WHEN SCHOOL'S WAY TOO SCARY
1:20 PM
TIPS TO MANAGE SCHOOL
ANXIETY
For some kids, school
is frightening.by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
740 words
All children occasionally experience butterflies during the
school day. Perhaps the nervousness arrives waiting to be called upon to give
the presentation on Rosa Parks. Or maybe dancing has never been their forte,
and suddenly they are asked to choose a partner in P.E.
A little anxiety is always expected and normal. But some
children experience persistent and excessive worry while attending school or
while thinking about it outside of school. They may experience anxiety attacks
and feel ill. School anxiety may interfere with academic work, behavior at
home, emotional health, and socializing.
According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America,
anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S.
Psychologist and educator Marie Hartwell Walker, ED.D.
likens school anxiety to a phobia of dogs. Dr. Walker says “for some kids going to school is like
confronting a vicious dog everyday. For them school is a place where they can’t
succeed, where they feel bad about themselves, where they constantly fall short.”
Why the Excess Worry?
Social worker and author of Overcoming School Anxiety (AMACOM, 2008), Diane Peters Mayer writes
that over 6 million school children have school anxiety—a mind-body reaction
ranging from butterflies to blanking out or having a panic attack.
Kids may report feeling sick because their emotional and
physical symptoms confuse them. Symptoms of school anxiety can include: a
pounding heartbeat, diarrhea, nausea, headache, tense muscles, shortness of
breath, and dizziness. Kids may feel overwhelmed, out of control, helpless, or
embarrassed. Parents sometimes mistake a child’s suffering for manipulation.
Mayer describes various reasons for school anxiety:
- Demands at school. Standards within
the school curriculum are higher than ever. Kids who aren’t great test
takers may feel the pressure of so much assessment and competition.
Sometimes heavy homework loads and falling behind create the anxiety.
- Parental anxiety. Many children are
sensitive to their parent’s own fear and anxiety. When a parent projects
their concerns onto the child, anxiety may be exacerbated.
- Stress at home. The burdened economy is one factor adding to the stress of
families. Because of unemployment and financial hardship, many kids may be
struggling along with their caregivers. Other children may be
over-scheduled and lacking sufficient time for freeplay.
- Fitting in. Kids who have trouble socially at school are at risk for
school anxiety. Mayer says tweens are especially vulnerable. Bullying at
school may also contribute.
- Set up for failure at school. Not
all schools have programs in place to help kids with anxiety. This makes
treatment and success at school more difficult.
Tips to Manage School
Anxiety
- Listen and don’t freak out. Mayer
says listen to your child talk about the anxiety. She says “Reassure your child that together you
are going to solve the problem and make things better.” Since your
child may be feeling out of control, it is important for you to keep your
own worry and anxiety in check. To make things better for her, stay calm
in spite of what she may say or do.
- Communicate with school. Your
child’s teachers and counselors will want to brainstorm with you about the
problem. Sometimes it is necessary to see a child therapist or a doctor
outside of school. Let your
child know seeking this sort of help is honorable, not a sign of failure.
- Relaxation techniques. Various deep
breathing, meditation, and relaxation exercises may help. A school
counselor or psychologist can be a helpful resource for such techniques.
- Reduce stress at home. This is a
tough one. It’s important to become a role model of good coping skills
when it comes to stress and managing problems.
- Convey hope and why managing the
setback is important. “I believe in you” is a powerful phrase for your
child to hear. Talk to her about how you are confident she will overcome
this snag and be stronger for it. Discuss with your child how learning
something new is never a waste of time and a critical part of her
development.
More Help for Anxiety
The Anxiety Disorders Association of
America (www.adaa.org)
provides information and checklists for parents to find professional help for
their children or to find a therapist who treats anxiety disorders in your
area.
Michele
Ranard has experience helping children deal with anxiety as an academic tutor and
coach. She has two children and a master’s in counseling.
Optional
Sidebar (30 wds):
“ANXIETY
BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN IT CAUSES EMOTIONAL PAIN AND SUFFERING AND DISRUPTS YOUR
CHILD’S ABILITY TO FUNCTION WELL AT SCHOOL AND IN DAILY LIFE.” (Diane
Peters Mayer, M.S.W., L.S.W.)
Resources:
Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA) www.adaa.org
Diane Peters Mayer, M.S.W., L.S.W. Overcoming School Anxiety. AMACOM, 2008.Marie Hartwell Walker, ED.D. “School Phobia: I’m Not Stupid, I’m Scared.” www.psychcentral.com
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