4 Tips to Increase Optimism
by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
460 wds

I don’t know about you, but some days are just easier to be an optimist than others. Lazy July afternoon when the house is clean, the kids are frolicking in the sun, and I’m sipping lemonade on the porch? Dude! I’m the optimism queen!

But a dreary winter evening everyone needs help with math homework, the kitchen’s a wreck, and the Holiday bills just rolled in…well, Your Highness has trouble seeing the light.

Psychologist Martin Seligman, a pioneer of positive psychology and author of
Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, says “pessimists tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault.”

Does this sound like you?

On the other hand, he says optimists “believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.” Most importantly, Seligman says pessimists can LEARN to be optimists by learning new thinking skills.

Here are some ideas to put us all in a more positive frame of mind:

*Dwell on what’s going right.
Re-focus. Instead of pondering the temporary bad events of the day, re-orient your perspective to all that’s going right. Think of that wise quote “Happiness is not having what you want, it’s wanting what you have” and decide what it means for you. Reflect on the specialness of your children and family in the scheme of things. If you are going to obsess negatively over something, give yourself a limit of just 48 hours to resolve the matter within yourself. Then let it go.

*Be Good to Yourself.
Make sure you are regularly doing good things for yourself and taking breaks from the daily grind. For me, these breaks inevitably involve chocolate. A trip to the spa, lunch with the girls, or a simple manicure may do it for you. Your physical and emotional health is important to the well-being of your kids so don’t neglect it!

*Look at the Big Picture.
It’s so important to not get bogged down in the trivial. Try this exercise: imagine everything you cherish most—your children, family, pets, photos, art—are suddenly stripped away. Feel the loss down to your bones. Let yourself sense the withdrawal of security. Allow the feeling of emptiness to penetrate your heart for a few moments. Now imagine that suddenly all of your treasures are returned to you unharmed. Bask in the glow of your riches.

*Reach Out to Optimists.
Parenting is tough, but sharing with other parents lightens the load. Make connections with positive caring people who make you laugh and see the glass as half full. Better yet, seek others who see it overflowing! Be lifted and then pay it forward, spreading the optimism love.

Michele Ranard is a professional counselor, tutor, and freelancer who is passionate about improving the lives and outlook of children and their parents. Visit her at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com.

Resources:

Seligman, Martin. Learned Optimism.Vintage, 2006.