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15 Reasons MATH is Way Cool

1.     Math exercises your brain. Arithmetic practice stimulates and exercises the prefrontal cortex in your brain (and we don’t even have to get all sweaty).

2.     Math offers relief from other subjects. No memorizing historical dates for the Civil War and…no complicated verb conjugation.

3.     Math performance doesn’t involve a stage. You don’t have to be a great public speaker or a standup comedian to excel in it.

4.     Math is not conditioning and pushups. Requires no ugly uniform or shower after class.

5.     Math still loves you if you suck at English or writing. Points are not subtracted for poor spelling, and you’ll rarely be required to write a five paragraph essay.

6.     Math improves your grooves. It makes you a better musician.

7.     Math doesn’t play favorites. Everybody can learn it since it is a universal language.

8.     Math helps your wallet. Knowing math leads to wiser financial decisions (cha-ching!).

9.     Math makes you look hot in the kitchen. Recipes always involve math measurement.

10.  Math rarely entails philosophy. No need to ponder deep questions such as what Kierkegaard meant about the need to engage in a state of despair before becoming stuck in a state of inertia…fractions anyone?

11.  Math beefs up your social status. Quickly calculating sale prices at the mall impresses your companions.

12.   Math careers pay big. Engineers and quantum physicists rake in the dough.

13.  Math has cool factor. ‘The Count’ on Sesame Street? One of the most righteous dudes in the entire cast.

14.  Math doesn’t care if you are tone deaf. Calculations are a welcome break from rehearsing “Go Tell it On the Mountain” on the recorder.

15.  Math work pays off for your whole report card. Understanding and using patterns in math leads to advanced problem solving and higher level thinking across all subjects. 

Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling. She is a former math tutor passionate about helping kids improve at math.

The Smart Underachieving Child:

 We want our children to feel excited about learning and willing to confront challenging material. We want them to have an endless supply of resilience to persevere and succeed at school and in their relationships. We want them to achieve greatness in their education and adulthood, yet many of our bright students are underachieving.

1. Explore Attitude

Author of Empowering Underachievers (2006) Peter Spevak says attitude, not ability is the issue. “Underachievers “intellectually understand what they need to do, but their attitude is ‘so what?’” They work below their potential and waste opportunities. Underachieving kids tend to blame lousy teachers, crowded classrooms, impaired parenting, and irrelevant homework. Why? Spevak names emotional detachment and the shirking of personal responsibility.

 In contrast, motivated students exhibit positive attitudes, work close to their potential, seek new opportunities, and “act age-appropriately responsible without being prodded.”  He identifies three abilities motivated students possess:

How can we nurture these qualities to help kids aim higher?

 2. Increase Personal Drive

Educator Janine Walker Caffrey has thoroughly examined personal drive. Since a lack of personal drive is often at work for underachievers, she shares ideas for developing “drive” to achieve, dream, and create unique independent lives (Drive, 2008):

Ability to finish things. Drive provides you follow through to get things done. A driven person focuses on the goal and is always working to move closer toward it.

Finds fulfillment in work. A driven person finds joy in work because he has a sense of purpose.

Can deal with uncertainty and change. Driven people understand the normal ups and downs of life. They are able to work through difficulties and crises because they understand that things will get better. Work, persistence, and goal orientation make this possible.

3. Improve Parenting Habits

Dr. Sylvia Rimm has articulated these laws of achievement in Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades and What You Can Do About it (2008):

*Children need effective models and are more likely to be achievers if parents join together to deliver the same clear and positive message about school effort and expectations.

*Children develop self-confidence through struggle.

4. Build Resilience

For children prone to underachieve, resilience is often in short supply. According to Building Resilience in Children and Teens (Ginsburg, 2011), resilience is rising above difficult circumstances “while moving forward with optimism and confidence even in the midst of adversity.”

 Resilience allows us to see challenges as opportunities and believe we will ultimately be strengthened from them. It is not engaging in self-doubt, catastrophic thinking, or a mindset of victimization. Ginsburg’s 7 crucial C’s of resilience include:

5. See the Connection to Well-Being

Positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman paints a picture of the pursuit of well-being and healthy achievement in Flourish (2012):

 “People who live the achieving life often are often absorbed in what they do, they often pursue pleasure avidly and they feel positive emotion (however evanescent) when they win, and they may win in the service of something larger (“God made me fast, and when I run I feel his pleasure” says the actor portraying the real life Olympic runner Eric Liddle in the film Chariots of Fire).

Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling.

Resources:

Caffrey, Janine Walker. Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Achieve. Da Capo, 2008.

Ginsburg, Kenneth R. Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings.  American Academy of Pediatrics, 2011.

Rimm, Sylvia. Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades And What You Can Do About It: A Six-Step Program for Parents and Teachers. Great Potential, 2008.

Seligman, Martin. Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press, 2012.

LESS FEARFUL HOSPITAL STAYS

3 Tips to Ease Anxiety

by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.

560 wds

If your child will be visiting the hospital for a procedure, they may feel fretful about what to expect and any pain they may experience. These expert tips will help guide you in calming their nerves.

Why They Worry About the Hospital

According to Dr. Judith A. Jones of Kidshealth.org, common fears are needles and pain. Depending upon the procedure, Dr. Jones suggests it may be possible for your child to get medicine to feel more relaxed.

Young children often struggle with separation anxiety and will likely feel more at ease if they are held by their parents while falling asleep before surgery. Older children may develop anxiety for “exposure of body parts during surgery, cutting and scarring of the body, waking up during surgery, loss of control, pain after surgery, and even death.”

3 Tips to Ease Worry

Many children will benefit from a calm conversation before their hospital stay about what to expect. Kidshealth.org suggests the following tips for such a talk with your child:

Be calm for your child. If you stay relaxed (breathe!), your child is less likely to feel nervous about the hospital. “If you need to vent your emotions, try to take a few minutes to step out of the room where your child can't see or hear you.”

The experts at kidshealth.org remind parents that keeping their own anxiety in check will ease a child’s pre-op worries and positively influence their post-op recovery. As Dr. Jones suggests, “Remember to use nonverbal cues to communicate assurance: your tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, and body language convey powerful messages.”

Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling.

Resources:

Kidshealth.org

http://kidshealth.org/parent/system/surgery/anesthesia_prepare.html#

reviewer: Judith A. Jones, M.D.

BUST A MOOD

3 Strategies to Calm Beastly Moods

by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.                                                                            

760 words

”Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.”

                                                                        --Bill Watterson

We all have moods. In childhood, there are those unicorn, rainbow, cotton candy, smiley ones, there are the beastly ones. Meltdown mahem at Macy’s. Bedtime blow-ups. Tantrums over tuna. Adolescents are also famous for occasionally getting their panties in a bunch...ahem.

Behind every spirited child in distress is a parent secretly wishing to be sedated.

Okay, the last part may just be me, but sometimes the moods of our children shift so swiftly and fiercely from cheer to rage, we’re left dazed and confused.  Kids don’t grow out of bad moods like they do shoes.

So let’s explore some common ‘very bad mood’ triggers and tips for how to avoid them.

Why Terrible Horrible Moods Happen to Good Children

*Changes in routine. All parents get this intellectually, yet still we are caught off guard when our kids react to change with distress. “But you said we’d get ice cream right after school!” (Can you feel the power of those words like nails on a chalkboard?) WE think they must learn to go with the flow. THEY want predictable outcomes.

*Overstimulation. Too much of a good thing can be lovely…and it can be bad. Real bad. Noise, interference, and stimulation in a child’s surroundings can cause increased irritability. And unfortunately, children often don’t realize it’s the ENVIRONMENT making them edgy and grumpy.

*Exhaustion. Hello? Sleep deprivation makes children of all ages emotionally weird and less resilient. Teens especially must get enough shut eye!

*Tummies growlin’. The tricky part about cranky hungry kids? They can be extremely resistant to acknowledging their hunger. You have to do the thinking and be armed with snacks especially when away from home.

*Growing pains. Yep. Blame it on hormones. Physical and neurological growth can cause children to be moody. Let’s keep reminding each other about this one, deal?

*Injustice. “Hey! Sophie got a bigger slice!” Even if Sophie didn’t get the sizeable helping, perceiving she did can trigger a nasty mood.

Bust a Mood

Sharing a book is one way to connect with kids in a discussion of moods. Remember little Alexander from Alexander and the Horrible Very Bad Day? Poor guy can’t even get away from his bad day when he settles down for the night. He bites his tongue, and the cat deserts him! But there is someone there to bust his mood. Fortunately he has a parent who reassures that everyone has bad days.

Another title combining a silly sense of humor with grouchy feelings is Big Rabbit’s Bad Mood by Ramona Badescu. Laughter is good medicine for monstrous bad moods.

Authors of Mother Nurture (2002), Rick and Jan Hanson, have excellent tips for easing sour moods.

One-on-one attention. Make sure your moody child is getting plenty of nurturance in the form of quality attention for at least 20 minutes daily (ideally, more time than that).

Soak up the sunshine. Children need to build up a positive emotional memory so they can access those happy places when life isn’t going smoothly. Dr. Hanson suggests spending a few minutes at bedtime reviewing all the things that make her feel good and reminding her to savor those things.

Watch out for stress. Some moody kids have a hard time coping with stressors such as long days of childcare, overscheduling, and too-high expectations. While we can’t eliminate stress for kids, be a good model of coping. Reassure them they don’t need to worry and teach strategies to calm themselves.

Seek out objectivity. Frequently it helps to ask a teacher, family friend or counselor for an opinion about your child’s moods—is there a bully at school? Is it possible you are missing something?

Assess their diet. Think about whether your child is eating enough protein or too much sugar. Make sure she is offered nutritious meals, consider vitamins, and watch for symptoms of food allergies.

Take care of yourself. Don’t forget about your own needs for nurturance. Moody kids can add up to lots of stress into the home, so take good care of your relationships and your own emotional well-being.

Bad moods hate a restful slumber. Are you getting enough rest to cope with these moody children? You need your energy and stamina for these terrible, no good days! See a connection between sleepovers and your child’s bad mood? Do everything in your power to promote better sleep habits for you and your family.

Michele Ranard has a husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling

Resources:

Badescu, Ramona. Big Rabbit’s Bad Mood. Chronicle, 2009.

Rick Hanson, Jan Hanson, and Ricki Pollycover. Mother Nurture: A Mother’s Guide to Health in Body, Mind, and Intimate Relationships. Penguin, 2002.

Viorst, Judith. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. ALA, 1972.

STRESS and PRESCHOOLERS

800 wds

As adults with plenty of experience managing stress, we cope with it by learning to calm ourselves. Sometimes we forget that children lack our years of experience and maturity. Anyone who has ever visited a preschool classroom can attest that plenty of three to six-year-olds have yet to learn or practice such coping skills. Understanding some of the underlying structures of stress may help us better guide them.

Measuring Stress

Stress and cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone produced by the outer portion of the adrenal gland in response to stress. It aids in digestion, the immune system, and energy usage. When we face challenges, cortisol levels spike and provide us with energy. Since it can suppress immunity when stress is chronic, stable levels are associated with good health. In fact, recent research suggests a relationship between cortisol levels and suicide risk (Nauwert 2010).

The researchers suggest that paying attention to a preschooler’s stress signals (crying after separation, exhaustion after day care, trouble sleeping, or frequent illness) and reacting with support helps.

 Stressors for Pres-choolers What is stressing them? Interaction, for one thing. Watamura discovered that even more than separation anxiety, interaction with peers contributed to stress. Levels of cortisol often increased as they attempted to play with lots of other kids.

“At home, preschool-age children typically show a decreasing pattern of cortisol production across the day,” Watamura says. “At child care, many children show a rising pattern,” probably since they are more challenged there.

Family members also affect stress levels. A 2009 study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry reported almost 15 percent of preschoolers have atypically high levels of depression and anxiety. This five-year exploration of Sylvana M. Cote and international researchers in Canada and France found that children with atypical levels were more likely to have mothers with a history of depression.

“We found that lifetime maternal depression was the second most important predictor of atypically high depressive and anxiety problems during preschool years,” says Dr. Cote. The researchers stress preventive interventions are needed to see a long-term impact on the well-being of kids at risk.

Combatting Stress With Nurturance

Nurturance matters. The amount of nurturing rat pups receive from their mothers (licking and grooming in infancy) has lasting effects on the stress response over the life cycle. Laurie Miller Brotman and researchers at the NYU School of Medicine found in studies of parenting and children’s stress response that in fact, there is a cause-effect relationship (2007).

 They aimed to measure whether intervention for preschoolers at risk for antisocial behavior could alter the kids’ biological response to a stressful social situation (playing with a group of unfamiliar peers). After the intervention, cortisol levels of preschoolers who were taught coping skills were found to be lower than for those without instruction.

Brotman says results “provide further evidence that early intervention can have a profound effect on children.”

Nurturance may change the brain’s anatomy. Recent research, by child psychiatrists and neuroscientists at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, is the first to show that changes in the hippocampal region (a brain region strongly associated with memory and linked to the capacity to manage stress) of children’s brain anatomy are linked to a mother’s nurturing.

 The researchers discovered that preschoolers whose mothers actively supported them during a stressful incident showed greater volume in the hippocampus! This finding supports a growing body of research suggesting what we suspected: nurturing kids early in live is critical to healthy development.
Tips to Help Stressed Out Preschoolers

*Provide assurance. If the stressor for your child is at home, Watamura says talk to your child about how you will be able to figure it out and that there’s no need for worry.

 *Assess the connection. If your stressed child goes to day care or preschool, investigate to make sure your child’s teacher is bonding with her. Science shows that cortisol levels are more stable when there is a secure attachment.

 *Ask around. Watamura suggests asking your care provider: “Does my child play well when she wants to play? How does she do when I leave? When are the roughest times of day?”

*Choices. Give your child appropriate ones. For example, let her pick a friend for a playdate.

 *Offer a heads up. To prevent a meltdown, make sure she knows what to expect—she’ll be better able to adjust to circumstances which could trigger stress.

 *Remember all families struggle with stress. Watamura reminds that “Like adults, kids don’t always have to be happy” so you shouldn’t automatically try to “fix” things.

Michele Ranard has two children, a husband, and a master’s in counseling.

 Resources:

Brotman, Laurie Miller, Ph.D. Effects of a Psychosocial Family-Based Preventive Intervention on Cortisol Response to a Social Challenge in Preschoolers at High Risk for Antisocial Behavior. Archives of General Psychiatry. Oct 2007.

Cote, Sylvana M. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry. Feb 2009.

Luby JL, Barch DM, Belden A, Gaffrey MS, Tillman R, Babb C, Nishino T, Suzuki H, Botteron KN. Maternal support in early childhood predicts larger hippocampal volumes at school age. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Early Edition, Jan. 30, 2012. www.pnas.org/cgi/doi/10.1073/pnas.1118003109

Nauwert, Rick. Brain Inflammation Linked to Suicidal Tendencies. Psychcentral. http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/12/01/brain-inflammation-linked-to-suicidal-tendencies/21371.html. Dec 2010.

Watamura, Sarah, Ph.D. University of Denver. http://www.du.edu/psychology/child_health_and_development/

                                                                                                      --Daniel Goleman

Clearly, there is good reason for parents to turn their attention toward nurturing the emotional health of their families. According to the CDC, two-thirds of doctor’s visits in the United States today are for stress-related illness. We consume 5 billion tranquilizers every year to control stress. Emotional fitness impacts the future for our kids.

Daniel Goleman reminds us in Emotional Intelligence (2006) “the emotional lessons we learn as children at home and at school shape the emotional circuits, making us more adept—or inept.” Deficiencies in emotional intelligence put us and our kids at risk for depression, a life of violence, eating disorders, and drug abuse.

In Building Emotional Intelligence (2008) Linda Lantieri says kids need adults “To be steady anchors who never give up on them. They also need to learn concrete social and emotional skills that are taught both in the home.”

She outlines these goals of improving emotional fitness:

 1. Cultivate inner strength and emotional intelligence.

2. Honor the extraordinary experiences of their inner lives as part of their reality.

3. Help children understand they can know things intuitively and feel deep compassion even though they are young.

Lantieri says stress management can be taught by building in daily opportunities for silence and stillness that won’t otherwise happen. She suggests;

1.      Create a peace corner. Not to be confused with timeout! A calm-down spot to retreat at times of feeling out of control emotionally. It should be spacious enough to lie down with comfy pillows and include a cd player.

2.      “Keep Calm” activity. When your child is upset and self-control is needed, teach these 4 steps: (1) Tell yourself “Stop and take a look around.” (2) Tell yourself “keep calm.” (3) Take a deep breath through your nose while counting to five, hold it while counting to two, and then breathe out through mouth while counting to five. (4) Repeat steps until calm.

3.      Silence and stillness away from home. Have a few minutes of quiet at the beginning and end of a car ride instead of listening to the radio. Silent moments help to keep us in touch with our inner lives.

4.      Address violent or disturbing events. If your child is exposed to something disturbing (on TV or otherwise), pause for a moment and send positive thoughts or healing to those in need.

5.      Honor nature and provide opportunity to be outdoors. “Looking at a far away horizon or sky can help us gain needed perspective.  “Sometimes all it takes is a new perspective to shift us out of the bad habits.”

6.      Help check into her body cues. For kids to release stress they first need to be aware they ARE stressed. Is my heart racing? Is my breathing becoming shallow?

7.      Story time. “There can be lots of unplanned moments where the story can take either of you to a deeper place.” Reading a book out loud also “helps to strengthen a set of neural pathways in the brain that stores this memory for future use.”

 What does thriving emotional fitness look like?

 In their book Emotionally Intelligent Parenting (2000), Elias, Tobias, and Friedlander outline goals for parents and children.

 Be aware of one’s feelings and those of others. Teach children to accurately label their feelings. “Once we are able to recognize our different feelings, we have a much better chance of controlling them.”

Show empathy and understand others’ points of view. “Empathy is the capacity to share in another’s feelings” and when you know another’s feelings you develop sensitivity toward them. Empathy involves careful listening and reading nonverbal cues.

Regulate and cope positively with emotional and behavioral impulses. Delay of gratification is key so it’s important that you be caught modeling it.

Be positive goal- and plan-oriented. Acknowledge the power of optimism and hope “through self-monitoring and feedback, through keeping track of what we have tried, how well it has worked, and what we can do to improve.”

Use positive social skills in handling relationships. “Learning to listen to others carefully and accurately, to take turns, to harmonize feelings, to compromise, to create consensus, and to state one’s ideas clearly…help us work better in groups.” 

 Resources:

Elias, Marice J., Steven E. Tobias, and Brian S. Friedlander. Emotionally Intelligent Parenting: How to Raise a Self-Disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child.  Three Rivers, 2000.

 Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: 10^th Anniversary Edition Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam, 2006.

 Lantieri, Linda and Daniel Goleman. Building Emotional Intelligence: Techniquest to Cultivate Inner Strength in Children. Sounds True, 2008.

While warm sunny days are always perfect for frolicking outdoors, there are plenty of simple pleasures for us all to enjoy with children even when the clouds roll in. Sure, it’s tempting to play marathon videogames and consume mass quantities of raw cookie dough when it’s dreary out. But overcast weather doesn’t have to spell electronics and salmonella risk ONLY.

 In fact, gloominess outside provides an opportunity to unplug. For old-school connection with your kids. Unplugged is kind of the new black.

 Whether you decide to make it a lazy day with popcorn and a DVD (okay, that’s plugging in…whatever), a productive time organizing the playroom, or indulging in one these six engaging activities below, don’t forget to look to the sky for the rainbow! 

Swimming, sand boxes, and soccer matches? Those sunny day pleasures await just around the corner, but a rainy day magical fort? These are the sort of creative days of fun a kid will never forget.