The Smart Underachieving Child
7:50 PM
by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
740 words
1. Explore Attitude
Author
of Empowering Underachievers (2006) Peter
Spevak says attitude, not ability is the issue. “Underachievers “intellectually
understand what they need to do, but their attitude is ‘so what?’” They work below
their potential and waste opportunities. Underachieving kids tend to blame
lousy teachers, crowded classrooms, impaired parenting, and irrelevant
homework. Why? Spevak names emotional detachment and the shirking of personal
responsibility.
*Persist through completion.
*Work within time
limits.
*Function independently.
How
can we nurture these qualities to help kids aim higher?
Educator Janine Walker
Caffrey has thoroughly examined personal drive. Since a lack of personal drive
is often at work for underachievers, she shares ideas for developing “drive” to
achieve, dream, and create unique independent lives (Drive, 2008):
Ability to finish things. Drive provides you follow
through to get things done. A driven person focuses on the goal and is always
working to move closer toward it.
Determination to have
healthy lifelong relationships. A balanced person who has drive will want to
make all the parts of his life work well together.
Finds fulfillment in
work. A driven person finds
joy in work because he has a sense of purpose.
Usually earns more money. If you have drive, you
will generally want more out of life and understand the hard work that is
required to get these things.
Can deal with
uncertainty and change. Driven people understand the normal ups and downs of life. They
are able to work through difficulties and crises because they understand that things
will get better. Work, persistence, and goal orientation make this possible.
3. Improve Parenting Habits
Dr. Sylvia Rimm has articulated
these laws of achievement in Why Bright
Kids Get Poor Grades and What You Can Do About it (2008):
*Children
need effective models and are more likely to be achievers if parents join
together to deliver the same clear and positive message about school effort and
expectations.
*Children
develop self-confidence through struggle.
*Children will become achievers only if they learn to function in competition.
4. Build Resilience
For
children prone to underachieve, resilience is often in short supply. According
to Building Resilience in Children and
Teens (Ginsburg, 2011), resilience is rising above difficult circumstances “while
moving forward with optimism and confidence even in the midst of adversity.”
(1)
Competence:
a set of skills allowing them to test their judgments, make responsible
choices, and face difficult situations.
(2)
Confidence:
gained by demonstrating their competence in real situations.
(3)
Connection:
with people who believe or love them unconditionally, producing strong values
and feelings of safety.
(4)
Character:
a fundamental sense of right and wrong to ensure they are prepared to make wise
choices, contribute to the world, and become stable adults.
(5)
Contribution:
the importance of personal contribution and a sense of purpose.
(6)
Coping:
learning to cope effectively with stress better prepares them to overcome life’s
challenges.
(7)
Control:
a realization they can control the outcomes of their decisions and actions.
5. See the Connection to Well-Being
Positive psychology
pioneer Martin Seligman paints a picture of the pursuit of well-being and healthy
achievement in Flourish (2012):
Michele Ranard has a
husband, two children, and a master’s in counseling.
Resources:
Caffrey,
Janine Walker. Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate
Your Kids to Achieve. Da Capo, 2008.
Ginsburg,
Kenneth R. Building Resilience in
Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings. American Academy of Pediatrics, 2011.
Rimm,
Sylvia. Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades
And What You Can Do About It: A Six-Step Program for Parents and Teachers.
Great Potential, 2008.
Seligman,
Martin. Flourish: A Visionary New
Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press, 2012.
Spevak, Peter and Maryann Karinch. Empowering Underachievers: New Strategies to Guide Kids (8-18) to Personal Excellence. New Horizon Press, 2006.
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