hello lovely child

1. Let your child know where you'll be during the whole experience. Kids will feel better knowing you won’t be far and will be there when they wake up. “You may also be able to sit with your child until he or she falls asleep before the surgery. Discuss this with your anesthesiologist. And explain that (in many outpatient procedures) your child can come home soon after the surgery is done. In cases that require hospitalization, most hospitals avoid separation anxiety by permitting at least one parent to stay with the child day and night.”

2. Give your child age-appropriate and developmental stage-appropriate info. Less information is usually more appropriate for younger children. “That doesn't mean lying — it just means giving the most appropriate information for your child's age and developmental stage.” Too many details may increase your child’s anxiety so take their age and personality into account. Tweens and teens may worry they will wake up during the procedure, so they should be reassured they will not. Be sure to be sensitive about how you say it. You will want to avoid using the term “nap” so they don’t become anxious about naps in the future. Also avoid “cut,” “stuck with a needle,” or “put to sleep.”

3. Reassure them it is normal to feel “funny” after surgery. “Explain that there may be some pain and discomfort after the surgery, but that the doctor can give medicine to help. It's important for kids to understand that they don't have to try to be brave or ‘put on a happy face’ after surgery.” Help your child understand they may feel groggy, scared, or sad after the anesthesia, but everything will be fine because you’ll be there with them, and it won’t last long.

1. Look to children’s literature.

2. Listen to the experts and their advice.

3. Do not underestimate the power of rest.

Help Children Build Emotional Strength
by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
770 words

Nurturing emotional fitness may be as important to our children as nurturing cognitive development. As Goleman articulates: “When it comes to shaping our decisions and our actions, feeling counts every bit as much—and often more—than thought.”

 

by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
780 words



   
Angie Sutton nervously laughs it would be easier to name concerns that do not cause her to lose sleep. Since she has teens “all the early sex worries are creeping in” and she fears her kids “will get slipped some kind of a drug at a party.”

1. Kidnapping
2. School snipers
3. Terrorists
4. Dangerous strangers
5. Drugs

Real Concerns

1. Car accidents
2. Homicide (usually committed by a person who knows the child, not a stranger)
3. Abuse
4. Suicide
5. Drowning

Why So Paranoid?

• We don’t have the facts.  We sometimes get a distorted picture of the world because of a fear-based culture reinforcing over-spending, over-protecting, over-parenting, and over-worrying behaviors.

Worrying Doesn’t Benefit You or Them

The problem is, when we worry too much, we end up causing our kids to feel uncertain and dependent. Barnes wants parents to face what she refers to as the five ugly truths about worrying. 

1. Worries are not safety shields. “If you worry ‘enough’ your child will NOT be protected by an invisible force field.”
2. Worry does not appease the worry God.
3. Worry in itself is passive and does nothing to solve the problem. (Except just try telling this to my sleep-deprived brain in the middle of the night as I wait for my teen son to arrive home.)
4. Worrying more doesn’t mean you love your child more. “We’re kind of fooling ourselves to think that all this research and all this worry we’re doing is actually love."
5. Worrying often expresses itself as nagging, which sours your relationship with your child.

Less Paranoia Parenting

The Paranoid Parents Guide encourages parents to practice what Barnes terms “positive parenting” since “parenting is stressful enough without confusion about doing the right thing.” Consider these tips culled from her guide: 

• Face the facts. There is a lot to smile about, parents! Crime, homicide, abuse, and kidnapping are down (abuse is a greater threat from family and friends than strangers). When we are tuned into facts, not fear, we teach our kids to not be afraid of the world which is a boon for them now and in the long run.
• Be less overprotective. Barnes says overprotecting ultimately harms kids by making them less resilient. We don’t want to teach them to be helpless or too dependent.
• Insist on helmets and seatbelts. Although it sounds like simple advice, Barnes says it’s the best way to reduce the chance of your kids’ death by 90 percent and the chance of serious injury by 78 percent!

 “When it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.” (Gilbert Chesterton)

1. Overcast Photo Shoot. There is no such thing as too many photos of the kids. There just isn’t. So take advantage of a sunshine-impaired day when grey skies are optimal weather for snapping better photos. As long as there is no lightning, have a blast capturing puddle splish-splashing Kodak moments. The cute factor of smiling kids in rubber boots who aren’t squinting? Ummmm. Hard to beat.

 

2. Bake up a storm! Let a cloudy day inspire you to whip up magic and comfort in the kitchen. Trouble deciding on gooey cookies or fancy cupcakes? Make both. You can always freeze extras to throw into school lunches. If your kids are old enough to read, let them recite the recipe to you and allow them to measure for excellent math practice. No fancy pans or equipment required to create culinary masterpieces! A wooden spoon, mixing bowl, patience, and their enthusiasm will do the job fabulously.

3. Rainbow picnic. Make sandwiches, spread celery sticks with peanut butter, and dream up a yummy dessert. Lay out a quilt on the family room floor and play a board game or two. Since indoor Frisbee isn’t always the best idea, think about balloon volleyball instead. If your kids have not volleyed with balloons before, you’re in for a treat! This dreamily quiet activity will keep them engaged for good periods of time. BONUS: no ants, itchy grass, or fatal mayo to worry about on this picnic.

4. Dance til you nap. Forget the inside voices! Crank up the tunes and cut loose. Kids never seem to tire of the freeze dance game. You be the DJ and control the music, and let them dance until you silence it at which time they freeze and hold their position until the music starts again. Let them request their favorite songs and get worn out, and then try to take a nap when they do.  

5. Rowdy runway revelry. Fashion shows are fabulous even when they aren’t in Milan. First, kids will need to select wardrobe. Encourage them to be as flamboyant, creative, and crazy as possible (offer lipstick, sports jerseys, pantyhose, purses, pumps, and hats). Tape off a catwalk with masking tape and play energetic music to put  them in the mood to strut their stuff for the paparazzi—YOU!

6. Mother of all forts. Is there anything quite like constructing a massive tent before climbing inside to read, dream, play Legos, and simply snooze? With sheets, quilts, and clothespins (or duct tape!) help them build a magical cozy nest to chill in.

Recent research on the favorable (and flavorable!) benefits of chewing gum may thrill your child but aggravate teachers and school custodians. After all, standard "no gum" policies in the classroom tend to result in more tidy, goo-free carpets and floors.
But some educators are re-examining the gum policy. Why?

Benefits cognitive abilities
Researchers at Baylor College of Medicine studied eighth grade math students and found gum chewers scored 3 percent better on standardized math tests and achieved better final grades (Wrigley Science Institute, 2009).

Chewing gum appears to increase alertness, focus and concentration, and in the cognitive improvement section of his book 101 Optimal Life Foods (Bantam, 2010), nutritionist David Grotto recommends chewing gum between meals and snacks.
More praise for the yummy stuff resulted from brain researcher Todd Parrish of Northwestern University in 2009, when he examined functional magnetic resonance images of gum chewers and found increased activity in areas of the brain associated with memory and emotional responses.

Reduces ear infections
Ear infections are one of the most common childhood illnesses, and a meta-analysis published in November 2011 in the Cochrane Library, a database of health-related evidence, suggests a new preventive measure.

A University of Toronto team analyzed several studies of 3,100 healthy children at day care centers and discovered children chewing xylitol gum (xylitol is a natural form of sugar) were 25 percent less likely to develop acute ear infections.

Since participating kids chewed the gum up to five times a day, it's not clear whether smaller amounts would have the same effect. Also, xylitol can cause abdominal discomfort, so even though it may be helpful, the topic warrants further research.

Curbs cravings
You chews, you lose? Looks like it. Gum may also help prevent weight gain. Paula Geiselman and her research team at Louisiana State University found chewing gum was associated with decreased feelings of hunger and cravings for sweets (Wrigley Science Institute, 2009).

Researchers concluded that even small changes in caloric intake could have a significant impact in the long term and suggest chewing sugar-free gum as an easy, practical tool to help manage snack intake and reduce sweet snack cravings.

Improves dental health
Even people in the business of preventing tooth decay sing the praises of gum. Sugarless, that is. The American Dental Association reports that chewing sugarless gum for 20 minutes after meals can help prevent cavities. The ADA also states on its website: "In the future, look for chewing gum that delivers a variety of therapeutic agents that could provide additional benefits to those provided by the ability of gum to mechanically stimulate saliva flow. For instance, some gum might contain active agents that could enhance the gum's ability to remineralize teeth and reduce decay, or enable gum to help reduce plaque and gingivitis."

There also is evidence that gum reduces symptoms of acid reflux. This is surely good news for parents, teachers and school administrators who struggle with heartburn and symptoms of gastroesophageal reflex disease. And the custodians.
With these potential learning and health benefits, don't be surprised if your child's school modifies its gum policy, begins to offer gum as a reward for good behavior or encourages chewing in math class. 

Michele Ranard has two children and a master's in counseling.

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Gum 101
Before Juicy Fruit, Bubblicious or the sticky debate in schools (um, let's face it, when students don't chew gum quietly or bullies smash it in someone's hair, it's a learning distraction and not an enhancement), our distant ancestors saw the value of chewing resins and latex secretions from plants. Also, the color of the first successful bubblegum was pink because it was the only color the inventor had left, according to the International Chewing Gum Association. Who knew? Learn more fun facts about gum at www.gumassociation.org.