hello lovely child

Brilliant Ideas to Save Time, Money, and Sanity.

by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
740 words

As a parent, unless you have “real housewife” Camille Grammer’s four nannies and support staff, your brain probably swims with an endless list of chores and household responsibilities this very second. It can be exhausting. How will it all get done? There is hope.

Consider these shortcuts to save your sanity.

1. Ditch Dinner-time Drama.

“Mom! You know I can’t stand homemade lasagne!”
“Should we have fish tacos tonight, guys?”

It’s time to stop asking the family what they want for dinner. At least temporarily if it’s making you crazy. Dinner-time democracy always sounds like a good idea until it erupts into revolution.

Keep your focus on which healthy, balanced meal you will serve and not on multiple dishes to please each family member. If they hate the dish, you can offer cereal and yogurt as the alternative. This is not evil. This is called “mommy is lots nicer when she’s not totally insane.”

Also consider thinking in twos when you cook a meal. Roast extra chicken for the next night’s casserole. Make enough Swedish meatballs so you can toss some in with tomorrow’s spaghetti. Double the recipe. Cut manic mommy-stress in half.

2. Less Laundry Lovely.

Doing laundry is fulfilling! Not. Who says the kids’ clothes must be washed after one wear? Do Kevin’s jeans emit a funky smell? Is Nicole’s sweater bloodstained? Was Blake’s polo dragged through the muddy swamp? If not, explain they can wear clothing again (and, okay, again!) to minimize dirty laundry and water consumption. In addition to green living, this is a very Tommy Lee rockstar way to live.

3. Changing Table Change-Up.

It can drive you crazy when your child needs a diaper change and supplies are not at hand. Instead of buying just one package of wipes or diapers at a time, buy multiples. Stock the changing table/station with diapers, cream, and essentials and also have supply stashes in other places around the house. This saves you time by preventing trips running upstairs or out to the van for the diaper bag. It will also make it safer for your little one since it can be tempting when you’re missing something to step away from the table.

4. Outstanding Outfit Ooh-La-Las.

Is there anything quite like ultimate fighting with your child over the “perfect outfit” at the break of day? Put an end to time wasting morning meltdowns because they cannot decide what garments FEEL right for that particular day. Without guilt (we’re talking about your mental health here, Not-Mrs.-Grammer, for cryin’ out loud) use Sunday nights to pick out a week’s worth of clothes. Buy a nifty cubby organizer to hold the outfits if it reinforces the smart habit. Then actually USE the thing.

5. Stay Cool and Carpool.

Fuel is expensive, carpooling is great for the environment, and our time is valuable. So give yourself a break and become accustomed to sharing driving responsibility with other parents. The bonus is you’ll get to know your kids’ friends and teammates better and stay in the loop.

6. Birthday Bargain Brilliance.

While shopping, keep your eyes peeled for smart non-expensive unisex birthday gifts. Snatch up the bargains and save yourself from angst-filled last minute scenarios before the bash. You can even really show off and wrap the gifts before you even need them.

Speaking of shopping, don’t lose your mind driving from store to store seeking the best price on small ticket items. Use coupons when you can, but the cost of gas and your time may not make all that running around worth it in the end.

7. Fake Bake.

It is more than okay to buy the cookies or cupcakes for the bake sale, party, or fundraiser should you not have time to bake. Kids have loved Oreos for years and years for a reason, and “from scratch” has never meant “because I love you more.”

8. Controlled Chaos Keeper.

You know that super annoyingly organized friend of yours who reminds you of Martha? She has that genius dry-erase board near her back door with every family activity sketched out for the next three months? Just a thought…but maybe she’s on to something. Invest in something similar or a good old-school corkboard. Encourage your kids to jump on the “look we actually have a schedule” bandwagon.

Breathe in the sweet oxygen of a life that may not be free of cares but feels way less disorganized.

Michele Ranard loves an organized nest. She has a husband, two children, a master’s in counseling, and blogs at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com and hellolovelyinc.blogspot.com.

Help them say “Sayonara” to that inner slacker.

by Michele Ranard, M.Ed.
780 words

I don’t think of myself as a nag. But on any given day in response to my son’s procrastination, I definitely sound the part. Exhibit A: “MOM! I’ll be at Kevin’s playing Rockband” (on his way out the door) at which time my nag switch is suddenly tripped, and I respond: “Is your homework done? Room clean…?”

If you have a tween or teen under the roof, you may feel like you battle procrastination issues everyday. But are you a good model yourself? Do you put off housework, bill paying, or getting that report into your boss’s hands before deadline?

Why They Procrastinate

Adolescent kids taking on greater responsibility seem especially vulnerable to procrastination. In The Procrastinating Child: A Handbook for Adults to Help Children Stop Putting Things Off (2002), author Rita Emmett explains that putting things off is simply a bad habit we can all correct. We can fall prey to it at times when we feel overwhelmed, distracted, or helpless.

1. Feeling overwhelmed. Your tween may seem lazy when she is actually feeling swamped. If your child is feels overwhelmed with anxiety about failing an exam or a particular task, her excessive concern may cause her to stall. She may feel stuck and unable to get mentally mobilized. This bad habit may continue into adulthood, jeopardizing her future successes.

2. Fear of failure. It is important to help kids understand how perfectionism and procrastination often go hand in hand and may be keeping them from greater productivity. Kids need to be taught it is okay to make mistakes and that “not perfect” is completely different than “fail.” A certain comfort level with failure is necessary and healthy.

3. Indecisive behavior. A consistent fear of failure can lead to a pattern of indecisive behavior that author Neil Fiore notes as a warning sign in The Now Habit (2007). He also names low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness as red flags for procrastinating behavior.

“Bee” More Productive

In order to replace procrastination with and “bee” more productive, Emmett has a brilliant strategy for children to take the STING out of feeling overwhelmed.

*Select one task you’ve been putting off.
*Time yourself and take one hour to accomplish the task.
*Ignore everything around you, such as the phone and other tasks
*No breaks. One hour is realistic for a middle school student.
*Give yourself a reward once the task is complete.

Say “Sayonara, Inner Slacker”

1. Jedi mind tricks. Okay, you don’t have to be a Jedi. To combat the tendency to put things off, Fiore suggests transforming the thought “I don’t want to” into “I wonder what will come?” Sounds simple, but the attitude adjustment is powerful. In a sense, that mindful shift tricks the brain into a more productive mode.

2. Share the book “See You Later, Procrastinator” (2007). This easy to read, hugely entertaining guide geared to adolescents will help them procrastinate less. Espeland and Verdick explain that middleschool is largely about MORE: “More responsibility, more teachers, more subjects, more classrooms, more chores at home…” And when our kids have more to stay on top of, they need good habits that will work for them, not against them.

3. Think positive. To bid farewell to slacking, experts Espeland and Verdick suggest tweens reflect on a time they accomplished something great when they didn’t procrastinate and the good feeling afterward.

4. Learn organization skills. Since everybody can learn more productive habits, Emmett recommends helping children break overwhelming tasks into smaller chunks. If your child has an upcoming Civil War test and simply cannot get the gears in motion, help her get organized. Look at the task of test preparation as a series of baby steps. Help her make a short list for a plan of attack, such as reread two chapters of the text Monday, study notes Tuesday and Wednesday, and cover vocabulary on Thursday.

5. Set expectations for homework. Parents can set firm rules at home, offer rewards, and make lists. (Do not put off making these rules!). The basic rule of “No TV until homework is done” is an obvious place to begin. Screen time and iPod privileges may be suspended or offered as rewards for successful time management.

6. Begin to accept mistakes. One of the best ways to foster this lesson is through modeling. Seeing parents acknowledge their own daily errors (and responding with humor and compassion for the missteps) will give your child permission.

7. Make lists. Make them for everything so there can be no excuses. Adolescents are especially prone to selective forgetfulness even when rules are clearly articulated. Notes are more effective than nagging for gentle reminders of chores, appointments, and expectations.

Michele Ranard is the queen mother of two princes of procrastination. She is a professional counselor and a freelance writer with blogs at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com and hellolovelyinc.blogspot.com.

Resources:

Emmett, Rita. 2002. The Procrastinating Child: A Handbook for Adults to Help Children Stop Putting Things Off. Walker & Company.

Espeland, Pamela and Elizabeth Verdick. 2007. See You Later, Procrastinator (Get it Done). Free Spirit Publishing.

Fiore, Neil. 2007. The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play. Tarcher.

6 Tips for a dreamier, tidier nest.
by Michele Ranard

740 words

Who says spring is the best time for clearing the clutter and welcoming order? Getting ready for school is as brilliant a time as any to create more order and feel more peace.

Sometimes I dread the process of simplifying. Then I commit and dive in and am astonished at how little time it actually takes or how incredibly huge the payoff is.

Organizing your family and home ultimately saves you tons of time and energy, decreases your stress, and teaches your kids to live in a smart organized way.

Here are a few ideas and expert advice to get your ducks in a row.

1. Simplify your space. Revamp and de-clutter the house so it can be tidied up quickly. That means clearing clutter from tables and surfaces (even the floors—do you really need all those throw rugs?), storing away clothing items and outerwear no longer in season, and re-thinking over-furnished rooms. It is easier to vacuum or sweep wide open spaces free of clutter, and you may be surprised at how much better you feel when visual clutter is eliminated.

You don’t have to save the world in a day. Simplifying in small chunks is just fine. Samantha Buck, a professional organizer on lifeorganizeit.com, suggests setting a timer for yourself. She says “I like to set a timer for 30 minutes and work fast as I can to complete decluttering projects. You'll be amazed at how much you can get done by using the clock to challenge yourself.”

2. Create a file system. The school papers, permission slips, homework, etc. can pile up quickly so a little preliminary planning will work miracles. Clearly designate a home for school-related stuff, and make sure each student has a binder or folder for report cards, phone numbers, sports info, handbooks, etc. It’s also a good idea to have a stash of school supplies in a designated area.

3. Trash last year’s school stuff. Think about scanning or taking digital photos of your children’s art work since those precious treasures can pile up and steal precious space. Hans Hofmann is credited with saying “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” Let this year’s stuff speak.

4. Store toys where you want them to be played with. This is huge and relates to #1. It’s far simpler to tidy up the house swiftly when it is not strewn with a zillion playthings so insist they corral toys to zones you approve.

Often the problem is too many toys, and author and editor of Organized Home Cynthia Ewer sees a toy library as the answer. She says, “Using a large lidded plastic storage container, large box or even plastic garbage bag, entrust a selection of toys to the ‘toy library.’ Store the container in an out-of-the way place for several months.”

5. Address those closets! This is a perfect time to purge closets since the kids will have a few new things to wear and be ready to part with some of the old. Don’t forget the beauty of HOOKS! Kids love ‘em, and they do the job.

Remind your kids that hangers don’t bite and that their clothes will stay wrinkle-free if they actually use them. Organizing expert Ewer reminds that toys and belongings used most should be stored on lower shelves or on the floor. Have a basket or shopping bag accessible in the closet for clothing and shoes to donate when they no longer fit.

6. Think again before buying MORE cool storage items. Some of us think that to organize means buying lots of containers. Sure there are a ton of awesome storage options claiming to make our lives easier, but it’s important to question “Why am I keeping this anyway?” or “How often do I really use this?” or “Do I love love love this?” Most of the time, we don’t even know why we’re holding on to stuff and just need to purge.

Organizing guru and author of When Organizing Isn’t Enough (2008), Julie Morgenstern, says “The process of throwing things out forces you to recognize what your attachment is.” Answering these questions will help you limit what you bring home so it won’t be necessary to invest in more storage items (or a bigger house!).

Good luck as you welcome autumn and with your family say hello to a tidier nest that works for all of you.

Michele Ranard adores a tidy nest. She is a freelancer with blogs at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com and hellolovelyinc.blogspot.com.

Resources:

Buck, Samantha. Lifeorganizeit.com
Ewer, Cynthia. Organizedhome.com
Morgenstern, Julie. When Organizing Isn’t Enough. Fireside, 2008.